


To heal old wounds

by LoneWanderess



Category: Horizon: Zero Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-29 22:30:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19839835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoneWanderess/pseuds/LoneWanderess
Summary: Aloy lost Erend at the battle against Hades and disappeared for five years without a trace. She returns to Meridian after her sojourn of grief. She finds an old friend, but can't escape her sorrow. Will Teb remember her, and can he pull her away from self-destruction?





	1. Chapter 1

She never forgot the brutality of that final battle, or how Erend cried out her name when he was caught off guard by the Eclipse soldier. The boy who ran him through was no older than fifteen years old, but Aloy had no hesitation in separating his masked head from his sinewy body in a rage as sparks rained down around her. The boy's blood mixed with Erend's own as it flowed out of him and stained the sand an angry, deep red. Even in his final moments, Erend tried to make her laugh with a cheesy joke about bodily fluids. She didn't found it funny at all; his hand grew cold in hers and her tears dried on her cheeks, and Erend spoke no more.

She never told Erend how she felt about him, always assuming there would be time for such things after the world was safe again. She knew he had felt the same towards her; she caught his sidelong glances when she was near, causing her cheeks to heat to an embarrassing pink and her words to falter. She would see it in his awkward smile, or feel it in the melting tension in his shoulders when she would try to calm his temper. Before the battle, he held her hand softly in his own and seemed to want to reveal the unspoken truth between them, but settled on a confident nod that they would prevail.

She had mourned Erend for five years. Five years of living in the mountains with Nil, following his lead as he freed the innocent and killed every bandit he found. Sure, his motives were justified, but his methods were extreme, and that suited Aloy just fine. She needed an outlet for her pain, and Nil was always eager to provide it.

She would often leave the newly emancipated villagers coated in the blood of their captors. Afterwards, she would sit in companionable silence across a roaring fire from Nil. His eyes would always seem to hold a question he would not voice and his lips crooked into an easy grin. She never asked him for the details of his past, and he never asked her either.

Until one day, he did.

"You know, you've never talked about it, " he said casually as they finished their meal one brisk evening.

"About what?" She asked, spooning the last mouthful of stew on to her piece of stale bread.

"What changed you."

"In what way have I changed?" She almost snapped at him.

"Well, for starters, you practically bathe in the blood of our bandit friends now. Not that I'm complaining! But you used to oppose such violence." He explained gently.

"Well, I guess I learned that sometimes violence has a place."

"Speaking from experience, when a drastic change happens so quickly, it comes from a place of deep pain. Or psychosis. And you're not psychotic...even if you're moody. "

Aloy stood abruptly, glaring at him.

"Are you really going to lecture me on appropriate ways to cope with my life? Maybe I'm _happy_ for once."

"I was happy once, a long time ago," he told her calmly as he closely studied the arrow he was whittling. "But now, the closest thing to that feeling is watching the light go out in someone's eyes. This is my path. Aloy." He said bitterly as he gazed into the flames.

Realization dawned on her face and was quickly replaced by a look of betrayal. She settled back into her bedroll and let out an exasperated huff as she rolled over and spoke no more.

She was gone the next morning before Nil woke. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy returns to Meridian to find herself, but finds the bottom of a bottle instead.

Her feet carried her on their own toward an old, dim tavern that rarely boasted any patrons. Aloy breathed deeply as she walked and enjoyed the scents of the city. She inhaled fragrant spices from the far south, the scent of smelted iron as smiths plied their trade through blood and sweat, the faint aroma of flowers drifting on the odd breeze... and the overpowering odour of thousands of citizens as they toiled in the evening sun. Her familiarity with the unchanging city created a sickening pang in her gut.

 _Erend should be here with me_ , she thought. She frowned and pushed open the heavy door to the tavern, letting the last rays of sun bask the small room with light. It was just as she expected. A few patrons sat at lone tables, mostly neighborhood alcoholics still drunk from days past, and a lone bar wench grumbled when Aloy approached. When Aloy pulled the scarf from her face to order her drink, the woman's eyes went wide before she prostrated herself at Aloy's feet.

"Our saviour! The Anointed herself blesses us with her presence! I am not worthy of such a distinguished guest. Please accept my sincere apology. Anything you like is on the house!"

"That's very kind, please just bring me a strong Oseram Freebooter. The drink, I mean..."

"Of course! It's a bit tricky to find any real Oseram Freebooters these days. I'm afraid they just don't visit us since Erend died. Now there was a fine specimen!"

"Umm, better make it two." Aloy said as her eyes welled with tears. 

"By the Sun! I'm sorry, did you know Erend? Were you close?" The woman asked as she poured the drink. 

Aloy didn't answer, not trusting herself with civility when her heart felt as though it would shatter. She tossed back both cups of strong brew that the barmaid offered, feeling it burn the back of her throat and warm her belly. She was a bit embarrassed when a loud hiccup escaped past her lips, but the kind old woman only smiled and offered another, which Aloy graciously accepted.

"Would you like to talk about it, Anointed? In my experience, sometimes getting something off your chest eases the burden more than the drink. I can pour you another, if you like."

"No." Aloy growled. 

"No to the talking or to the drink? Or, would you prefer a song? My son sings a beautiful tune about unrequited love. It was Erend's favorite."

Aloy's spine went rigid at the second mention of Erend's name.

"Enough! Just pour the damn drink already!" Aloy snapped. The woman visibly retreated and nodded quickly, refilling Aloy's empty vessel with the bitter spirits. Aloy sighed and relented a bit.

"I'm sorry. Please, call your son. A song would be nice." Aloy didn't look up from her drink when a young man began singing in slow, sad notes, recalling the story of a man lost in a love he could never truly know. Aloy dipped her head and let the tears stream down her cheeks as he softly wove the only story that might be close to her own:

_He met her at the village fire, it cast her in red glow._

_His desire burned so brightly; her love he had to know._

_Her spirit was the fiercest, her smile was sickly-sweet,_

_Her kindness knew no limit for anyone she'd meet._

_But soon the die was cast: his love, the fire stole._

_Her body turned to ash and his heart had turned to coal._

_He wished he could retrieve her from death's fiery grip._

_He had never held her hand or tasted of her lips._

_He could see her when he closed his heavy eyes,_

_Feel his hand on her hip or his fingers in her hair,_

_But when he woke with the morn again,_

_He clutched at naught but air._

The lyrics of the song struck Aloy, and she wept. Her body shook with the raw emotion of the words, and she drowned her tears with several more drinks. The barmaid stopped trying to comfort her, and instead kept her cup full.

A man shuffled into the tavern and waved to the barmaid.

"Hello Merta. I brought the ladles you ordered--" he stopped in his tracks and stared at the woman slumped in her chair, asleep. 

"Thanks Teb. Rimmeck left a tip in the usual spot. He wants to order some iron utensils for next week's--"

Teb didn't hear a word. He could only focus on the red braids obscuring the sleeping face of the only remaining patron in the tavern.

"Aloy?"


	3. Chapter 3

Teb carried Aloy to his modest apartment and laid her on his bed to sleep off the liquor. She was lighter than he thought she'd be, but the last time he saw her, he was thin, weak and soft. Since then, he'd grown strong, and carrying her was as easy as carrying a sack of potatoes. 

Aloy, however, was much the same as he remembered. He studied her in the early light of dawn, trying to imagine where she had disappeared to for the last five tears. Her face was perhaps a bit more gaunt, and he noticed a new scar on her brow. He'd have to ask her about it when she woke. He wondered if she would even remember him; while most people only knew a select group of people their whole lives, Aloy had traveled the known world and met thousands of people. He panicked when he realized she might wake up afraid in the home of a stranger. 

She rolled over in her sleep and he noticed her braids had slightly adopted an Oseram flair, but very little else had changed. She hadn't seemed to age much, if at all, and her cheeks held the telltale blush of a night of drinking. He was reminded of how beautiful she was, but before he could dissect her fine features from those of his memory, she stirred.

Groggily, Aloy sat up as Teb watched nervously. She clutched her head and groaned, eyeing the room slowly before her eyes landed on Teb.

"Aloy," Teb breathed as he smiled broadly. 

"Where am I--Teb? No, it can't be. Am I dreaming? How did I get here?"

Teb chuckled and poured Aloy a glass of water. 

"I'm flattered that you'd be dreaming about me, but no, you're awake. I brought you to my place after you fell asleep at the tavern."

A look of terror settled on her face after Teb's attempt at an explanation, the colour draining from her cheeks.

"We didn't...I mean...not that you're not..."

"All Mother, no!" Teb nearly shouted, his face paler than hers. "Aloy, I would never do that...to you, or to anyone else. You were drunk, I brought you here to sleep it off, that's all, I swear."

She relaxed at that, and settled into her pillow again, eyeing him carefully. Busying himself by cutting her a large chunk of bread gave him time to arrange his thoughts, but knowing which thoughts to voice was another matter. He offered her the warm slab of bread and a bit of cheese.

"Aloy, we all thought you were dead," he said softly as she chewed and cast her eyes downward. "Where were you?"

She didn't answer him immediately, seeming to mull her explanation over in her mind. She closed her eyes and swallowed, perhaps listening to the light breeze for an answer.

"I'm a Seeker. I was seeking."

"That's it? Seeking? What were you seeking that kept you away from home for five years?" Teb swallowed hard, wishing he could take back the accusations in his words. Aloy's eyes came to rest on his and tears welled within hers and threatenedto spill down her cheeks. He'd never known her to cry, not ever.

"Myself. Answers, maybe. It's...complicated, Teb. I don't really want to talk about it right now." She pushed the uneaten portion of bread back to him. Teb frowned and chastised himself for the tenth time in as many minutes. 

"Alright, Aloy. We'll talk about it another time." He cleared his throat when Aloy sat up in the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I faced a Thunderjaw and lost. Thanks for looking our for me, Teb. You're a good friend."

"Well, someone has to watch out for poor Merta. Can't have angry Seekers scaring away all her customers." Aloy smirked at his jest.

"With the way I feel right now, I'd be lucky to scare away her rats."

"Well, to be fair, they're pretty big rats."

Teb shot her a wink and excused himself to go to work, leaving Aloy to her own devices. 


End file.
